


Comebacks and regrets

by WritingforTheAvengers



Series: Love rain [5]
Category: Avengers, Captain America, Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Steve Rogers - Fandom, Tony Stark - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24050839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingforTheAvengers/pseuds/WritingforTheAvengers
Summary: It's been a about two years since Sokovia happened, and though there have been some new additions to the team, there is an overal dispair feeling in the team, especially in Tony. Your relationship, on the other hand, has blossomed into a strong bound and you feel really calmed, but it's all about to be tested now that the secretary of state, Thaddeus Ross, wants the Avengers' heads on a silver plate under the excuse of accountability and safety.Your world is at peace, but you know it's never been a lasting state for you.
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Tony Stark & Reader, tony stark x reader
Series: Love rain [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1575448
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. An unwanted conversation

It all began two days ago with a text from Steve. He was in town, a few months after what happened in Sokovia. It was still really fresh for everyone, and even if you didn’t really participate in it, thanks to Tony, it was really present in your life. Tony was having a hard time, and since you two had made it official, it kinda became part of your routine too.  
It was Tony who convinced you to go, basically because he said this could be the closure you were looking for, but there you were, in the passenger’s seat and shaking from head to toe. He kissed you tenderly and told you things would be fine, and then if not, you could still punch him when it was necessary. 

Tony kissed you goodbye and you got out of the car—a car that was obviously his. Tony rolled down his window and gave Steve a quick wave. You saw Steve waving at you from afar, and you were suddenly regretting having even come to see him. You had told Tony to be ready to pick you up if things got weird, and he, of course, agreed to it. 

“I thought you might not come,” Steve said, standing up to give you a weird greeting hug. 

“Come on,” you complained, “I’m just a few minutes late.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly why. You’re always very punctual.”

“Well, here I am,” you pursed your lips and sat down, trying to avoid all physical contact with him. You ordered and while you got your stuff, you remained in silence. Steve looked at you, trying to say something, moving his lips as if the words tried to escape from his lips, but he shook his head lightly every time he refrained himself from speaking. “How are you?” You asked after giving your tea the first sip. “After the Sokovia thing… of course.”

“It’s been hard,” he exhaled deeply. “I’m having trouble sleeping. I get these flashbacks now and then… like the ones I had from the war when I first woke up, do you remember I used to have them too when we started living together?” He asked. “Now there are flashes of everything, sometimes they mix, which is even more strange. Anyways, how are you?”

“Well, I’ve been alright. After Sokovia, the foundation has been all over the place, we’re trying to help as much as we can with the legal stuff and the paperwork…,” you clicked your tongue and exhaled, “but it’s hard to do when there’s no regulation available for super people and super stuff. It’s a slow process but we’re getting places.”

“So… you and Stark are together now.”

“Oh my god. What took you so long?” You chuckled. “I bet you were dying to ask about it.”

“That’s odd, but I kinda did see it coming,” Steve commented in a voice you didn’t like. “This is the second time a Stark gets the woman I love. 70 years of difference, of course…”

“Stark never got Aunt Peggy,” you said in obvious disdain and offence, “and she’d whoop your ass for saying that, for even thinking about it. She loved you, she always loved you and she chose you over anything else. She devoted her life to the work you didn’t finish, and just so we’re clear, Stark didn’t _get me_ ,” you replied in an unfriendly voice. “We’re still taking things slow, and whatever we may or not have is none of fucking your business. You stopped being in my life when you chose Bucky over me.”

“It may not be, but Stark’s my friend and we’re on a team together,” he used an accusing tone that pissed you off. “I don’t care whether you are together or not, that’s on you. But a relationship may affect his judgment on a mission, and then it’s you who I need to blame,” he said in a passive-aggressive voice you didn’t like, it was as if he was scolding you like a little girl. 

“Tony is an adult, so am I, and clearly so are you. You’re the most adult one of the three of us,” you replied surprisingly calmly. “Besides, it’s the worst excuse in the world because there were many times I needed you and that didn’t affect your judgment. It never did.” 

“And are you gonna hate me all my life for it?” He was starting to lose his temper, but you remained composed just to prove yourself how you’d outgrown him. “It’s been years.”

“Don’t put this on me Steve, because any normal boyfriend would’ve stayed in the first place,” you scolded him; he knew perfectly what you were talking about. 

A few months after you two moved to DC, there was a night of drunken, unprotected sex that ended up in a pregnancy. You both were so thrilled by it that you started planning ahead your life of future parents. Life was amazing, but your body decided it was not ready to keep a baby, and just a few weeks later, you lost it. Needless to say, you two were heartbroken with the news.

You locked yourself more and more within the walls of your own mind, while Steve tried to cope with the loss with work, and balancing it with awkwardly given attention. You never asked him to stay with you until one day that you knew there was a dangerous mission. Many agents were going, including Romanoff and Barton; even Tony said he would try to send help–or Rhodes. But Steve decided to go anyway even though you asked and begged him to not go.

Luckily, you had Hill to keep you company while he was gone, but you still needed him, since his attempts to reach out for you were of no emotional intelligence whatsoever. You were hurt about it for a long time, and though it happened a long time ago, you still wished Steve would’ve apologized, because he never did, and it was probably one of the first times that you felt you weren’t important enough in his life.

“I was the one who helped you when you realized the world was a lot different from the one you knew, and if you wanna forget that, that’s fine, but you don’t get to make me feel guilty for moving on with my life, especially when you moved on from me before we even broke up. Did you call me to fight?” You asked in a tired voice. “Because I’m really not in the mood.”

“No, don’t go… Look,” he said after a few seconds, but more composed, “I don’t care if you’re together, you have always chosen what idiot sleeps on your bed, including myself.”

“So? It’s my choice to fuck Stark if I want to,” you were amazed at yourself for being so cool and calmed. The old you would’ve beaten Steve, even if it only tickled him. “We’re not strangers, and he was single when we got together, and so was I. I was very much single thanks to a guy I shouldn’t even be having coffee with, but here I am,” you shrugged, “being that nice. I don’t think I owe you any explanation, we’re done. We’ve been done for years.”

“Yeah, I remember that. You broke up with me,” he scoffed.

“Excuse me?” You opened your eyes widely. “It was only because you were acting like a dick. Don’t get me wrong, I love dick,” Steve blinked perplexed and looked around ashamed around himself, to see if someone else had heard your words, “but I hate people who act like dicks.”

“Because I wanted to go after my friend?”

“I’m not gonna answer that, because you’re making it look like I’m the bad guy here. I’m not gonna fall for that. I think I’m gonna go, I don’t feel comfortable here—I shouldn’t have come. I’m gonna call Tony—” you hurried to grab your phone.

“I’m sorry,” Steve shook his head lightly. “I’m sorry, I’m being a dick again and I really just wanted to catch up,” you folded your arms over your chest and huffed. “Don’t call him, don’t go, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long,” he took a deep breath. “You said something when you left, and I’ve been thinking about it since the first morning after we broke up. You said that one day I would wake up and realize that I’m all alone, and that I would miss you and want you back, and you wouldn’t want me… and you’d say that being without me was the best thing that ever happened to you, because you were no longer with a guy who only cared about some dude that wasn’t himself anymore,” you always complained that Steve didn’t really pay much attention to you when you got serious, but you were taken aback to see how precisely he remembered the words you said, words you couldn’t put together after all these years. You had a vague idea of what you said, but since it had been so long and so many things happened in between, it was hard to pin it down. “And you were right, except for one thing…”

“And what’s that?” You asked.

“Bucky is still himself… I mean, there is some stuff he doesn’t remember, but I’m helping him remember. Sam’s helping me too, even though he’s still not entirely trusting him, but he’s there (Y/N), it’s still him,” Steve smiled, feeling proud of himself. “Come on, say something… anything.”

“What do you want me to say, that I’m happy about it? Well, I’m not. I honestly don’t give a shit about your pal,” you could’ve sworn you heard Steve’s heart breaking amidst the usual noise of a coffee shop. “You’re talking about the reason we broke up, and it seems like you don’t regret a thing. I mean, I would’ve expected you to tell me that you miss me and that you regret losing me because your quest for Bucky was futile… but you’re not.”

“But I do miss you. I already said that.”

“And what’s the use?”

“What do you mean?” He frowned. “You’re with Stark now, you shouldn’t even care if I want you back or not.”

“Steve, I thought the whole point of this catching up was telling me you fucked up and that you wanted me back, only for me to tell you that you lost your chance. I really don’t care about your buddy. Am I glad he’s still up there? Yeah, kinda?” You shrugged one shoulder. “You both can go do pretty much whatever the fuck you want, just don’t get me involved in it.”

“I’m sorry if this is not what you wanted…”

“How long back does that apology go?” You exhaled heavily and asked after a long silence.

“How long back do you need it to go?”

“I can’t even tell right now,” you shook your head. “But I’ll try to make up my mind about it.”

“Can I ask if you’re happy? I think it would make me feel better to know that you are,” he said in a gentle voice. “I made you miserable, and I need some peace of mind.”

“I am happy,” you nodded. “And you didn’t make me miserable, at least not all the time we were together… We had some good times, right?” You smiled lightly. “Remember our first holiday after what happened in New York? We went to Hawaii. That was nice.”

“Yeah,” Steve smiled widely and shook his head. “I took you to Pearl Harbor, that must’ve been boring as hell,” he chuckled. “But you followed me…”

“I would’ve followed you to the end of the world, Steve,” you tugged at your bottom lip softly. “If you had asked…”

“I did ask you to follow me on this one,” he kindly reminded you. “But you said no, and not just once.”

“If I had asked you to follow me in a quest of finding a person who had gone through severe trauma, experimenting, brainwashing and several cryo sleeps, relying only on just a hunch that it is the same person after many, many years, would you have followed me blindly?” You pursed your lips, looking at Steve clearly uncomfortable and hesitating to answer. “Yeah, it’s what I thought too, and for what is worth… I loved our trip to Pearl Harbor. I loved every second of it, and I still have very fond memories of us.”

“Me too. I believe you got…” Steve started, but his voice weakened at the memory invading his mind. “Never mind,” he shook his head.

“Yeah, it was that time,” you nodded absently. “I’ve been avoiding you for so long that I feel really silly. We should’ve had this conversation earlier.”

“You weren’t with Tony at that time, so it wouldn’t have gone this way, probably.”

“Does it bother you a lot?” You narrowed your eyes.

“I guess it just bugs me that it’s not me who’s making you happy,” he replied with evident sorrow. “I’m really happy you’re happy, I swear, but I dreamed of settling down one day with you. No more fighting bad guys, growing old, having kids… A dog. You know, that sort of stuff. It would’ve been really hard to do all of them, but we would’ve made it anyway…” he shrugged. “I suppose you can find that in Tony.”

You laughed heartedly. “Steve,” you looked at him with kind eyes. “I fell for two of the most reckless people I have ever met. Having kids is not a possibility with either of you.”

“Did you want them?”

“Yeah, before we lost ours I considered the possibility too, but I gave up the idea afterwards,” you pursed your lips tightly. “You never seemed to stop, or you didn’t seem like you wanted to.”

“I’m sorry, for everything that happened between us.”

“It’s okay,” you pursed your lips into a light smile. “I forgive you.”

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Steve asked. “I suppose you’re not living with Hill anymore.”

“Yeah, I stopped living with her a few months ago,” you chuckled. “If you don’t mind, that’d be nice. I didn’t drive here.”

“Alright, I’ll get the check and we’ll go,” he stood up, with his wallet in hand and walked inside the coffee house.

You could’ve sworn someone was taking some heavy baggage from your shoulders.


	2. Buildings go boom, and so does everything else

You went over the footage of the building exploding over, and over again. You couldn’t believe your eyes the minute you saw former STRIKE team agent Rumlow. You cursed yourself for having let him into your bed, but you cursed Wanda more for not thinking her strategy through just one more second.

It had been about two years since the Sokovia incident, and you couldn’t let the images sink into your brain. You pressed rewind on the video a tenth time. Nope, it felt the same. The Lagos incident had happened just a few days ago, and you had been sleepless over the images and the information collected all over the world. Maria Hill was already calling you the minute you fell on the chair of the improvised office Tony had prepared for you; she must’ve seen it a couple hundred times too.

“ _Did you see it?_ ” Hill asked from the other side.

“It’s like the tenth time I’ve seen it today. I’m not gonna get over this, like ever,” you sighed tiredly, rubbing your forehead with your free hand. “I think we’re gonna have a busy week,” you mumbled. “Or more like a busy life.”

“ _(Y/N), this is huge_ ,” Maria scolded you. “ _We’re probably gonna get sacked for this, or worse… we’re gonna be investigated. God knows if we’ll be put on trial like Romanoff a few years back._ ”

“Thaddeus Ross is downstairs with the team, and by the looks of it, is not going that well,” you sighed heavily. “Are you sure we’re gonna go that road too?”

“ _Yeah—we’re not technically enhanced, but let’s just say we’re not normal either._ ”

“Oh god,” you clicked your tongue. “I should’ve done something else with my life,” you chuckled gloomily.

“ _Tell me about it_.”

Since you were turning your back to the door, you didn’t notice when Tony came into your office. He sat down on your desk as you kept talking on the phone. He signaled at you that he needed to talk, and you nodded in silence.

“Hill, I’m gonna have to call you later, alright? Call me if something comes up,” you hung up and left your phone on the desk. “Hey, how are you?” You reached out your hand to grab his.

“Not well,” Tony shook his head. “We just came out of the meeting with Ross,” Tony’s voice was gloomy and tired. “That went awful.”

“Why?” You stood up and walked closer to him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and his hands went straight to your waist.

“What’s left of this team is feeling sketchy. Why can’t we just all agree that we’re dangerous as fuck and that we need regulation? We act like fucking savages every time we go to a place. We need to act like a more ordered team… and being regulated is the only way of doing this.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, feeling the sketchiness yourself. “I mean, once upon a time there was a SHIELD agency, and it was regulated because the government had its hands on. But then a little virus called HYDRA interfered with our work and turns out we were all tricked. Both of us, and the government itself included.”

“(Y/N) this is not the same. We’re talking about 117 governments coming together to agree on this, do you know how hard is to actually get this? Plus, the UN is gonna create a panel just to discuss Avengers-related stuff,” he replied. “We must be hold accountable for what we do, if not, we’re no different from the real bad guys.”

“I’m totally on board with that last thing—being accountable for your actions but I have some concerns about the whole idea,” you let him go and folded your arms over your chest. “What if this panel decides that what you did under their orders is not what they had in mind, even though you were specified to do it? What if they decide to throw you under the bus for whatever reason?”

“That’s not gonna happen—”

“Tony, these people have agendas,” you reminded him. “Are you really gonna get your iron suit to solve the problem in Syria?” You stood up from your chair and walked to get some water. “Or is Steve gonna solve that?” You cocked an eyebrow. “Steve, the living face of freedom, and everything this shitty ass country represents. Or is Natasha, the world’s greatest spy, gonna seduce everyone in the room so they can agree on not bombing the shit out of each other?”

“Yeah, but we’re not gonna operate in places like that,” Tony retorted. “We’ll be dealing with threats like the ones we’ve been facing up to now.”

“How do you know? Tony, people change, minds change. Are you really gonna send Wanda to a place that could trigger something in her?”

“Something like what?”

“I’ve no fucking clue!” You rose your voice. “Honestly, anything could be a trigger for her. She’s been though severe trauma. She lost her parents, someone experimented on her, she saw her city float and fall down from the sky, she lost her brother and now she has killed over a dozen of people accidentally. Don’t you think her mental state is something to worry about?”

“She wouldn’t be on her own.”

“Goddammit, Tony,” you rolled your eyes. “I cannot believe that after all this time, you’re so naïve, I swear—” your phone started ringing—“saved by the phone,” you whispered as you picked up. “Hi, this is (Y/N).”

“ _(Y/N), it’s Sharon—Carter. I’m calling to tell you aunt Peggy died,_ ” her voice was cracking and she was clearly affected. “ _We found her dead today—she must’ve died in her sleep._ ”

“Are you joking?” Your jaw dropped, and Tony came closer to ask what happened. “How are you? Are you in London right now?” The tears started pooling in your eyes. You felt guilty for not being around in her last days, but you felt relieved that at least Sharon was there.

“ _Yes. I’ve been here for a few months now. Her state worsened lately, so the CIA sent me here. Are you gonna come, right?_ ”

“Of course,” you nodded. “I’m gonna get in the first flight I can. Thanks, Sharon. Thanks for letting me know.”

“ _(Y/N), Aunt Peggy loved you so much. You were part of this family too. Send me your itinerary so I can pick you up to the airport. You can stay with me if you want to._ ”

“Yeah, that’d be cool. Again, thanks for letting me now. I’ll try to get on a plane right now. Take care, and see you soon.”

“ _See you,_ ” she hung up and you slowly put your phone down. Your heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces inside your chest and you felt about to explode.

“Babe,” Tony softly called, his hands were searching for yours. “What happened?”

“Aunt Peggy died…” you whispered, unable to look at him. “She died in her sleep. Sharon found her this morning,” your voice cracked and your bottom lip trembled. “I wasn’t there for her,” you shook your head. “I should’ve been there with her, and not here…”

“No, don’t say that,” he kissed the top of your head. “You were always there for her, and though she became very ill these past few months, you cared about her and asked her doctors if she needed anything. Now go get your things ready while I see how to get you there.”

“Will you come with me? I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

“There’s a couple of things I need to get done here,” Tony shook his head in negation. “The Sokovia Accords are starting to be a pain in my ass.”

“Please don’t sign them,” you begged. “There are a few things I wanna discuss first.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t think I can wait—Ross can’t wait either.”

“I think you’re making a mistake…” you confessed. “You have to think this through.”

“Can you trust me on this one?” Tony pleaded. “Please?”

You tugged at your bottom lip harshly. “Okay, I’ll try,” you sighed, not entirely convinced. “Now I gotta go,” you rushed out of your office.

With your phone wrapped tightly by your hand, you thought of one person only that could help you.

“ _Steve, can we meet in London? I think we need to talk._ ” You texted him, hoping he’d say yes.


	3. Same sides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the ceremony, you got out of the church towards the small venue where Peggy’s family would meet with the friends that came to see her. Those were the people you spent most of your life with, so it was no surprise to you when they came around to hug you and greet you.

After the ceremony, you got out of the church towards the small venue where Peggy’s family would meet with the friends that came to see her. Those were the people you spent most of your life with, so it was no surprise to you when they came around to hug you and greet you.

You saw Steve and Sam from afar and waved them among the crowd so they could come and talk to you. Before you left New York, you texted Steve to meet you in London. Both men walked towards you

“Thanks for meeting me, Steve,” you hugged him tightly. It had been a while since you last had the need to have him near you. His arms felt warm and welcoming, and the pressure around your torso made your heart feel a little lighter. “I needed a word with you. I’m sorry it had to be here… Hey Sam,” you greeted him from afar, but he just waved his hand quickly in your direction. He left to talk to Sharon on the other side of the room.

“I’m really sorry about your loss, (Y/N),” he placed a soft hand on your shoulder. “Peggy was your family, and… she was always important to you… but do tell me, what is it?”

“Steve, I think Tony’s making a mistake with the accords…” you shook your head. “I just can’t believe he’s on board with this. It’s ridiculous.”

“I think so too. No regulation will stop things like Sokovia from happening,” he started walking with you towards a more private space. “Unfortunately we are the only ones who can stop that, and more things are coming, and we’re gonna have to compromise, make sacrifices, we cannot save them all.”

“Isn’t there a way to come to an agreement with the countries signing it?”

“No,” he shook his head. “After what happened in Lagos they just wanna get this done. Rhodes is signing too,” Steve clicked his tongue. “Sam and I won’t.”

“Yeah—well I don’t know if I have to, if it considers me as an enhanced individual, but… I wouldn’t sign that crap either,” you shook your head. “What about Wanda and the others? Barton, Romanoff? Does Thor know anything about this?”

“Wanda is unsure. Vision is more likely to sign. Romanoff made it quite clear she will, and Barton says he’s retired now, so he won’t even bother reading them… And as for Thor,” Steve took a deep breath. “Well, there’s not much we can do in his case, neither with Banner. There are no signs of either of them. Jane, the scientist that was with Thor told me they broke up so, she’s not really trying to make contact with him.”

“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath. “This doesn’t look good.”

“I know,” Steve shook his head. “Let’s go get something to… that’s Nat,” Steve’s jaw dropped at the sight of the redhead timidly walking in. She was wearing a black attire and her wavy hair was let loose. “What’s she doing here?”

“Sharon called her too,” Natasha found you with her eyes and started walking towards you. 

“(Y/N), I’m really sorry about your loss,” Nat held you tightly, and until she did it you hadn’t realized how much you wanted a hug. Steve’s was cool, but both of them felt amazing. “She was truly an inspiration to us all.”

“Thanks,” you smiled softly. “We’ll catch up later, Tony’s calling,” you showed your phone quickly and ran off. “Thanks, Steve… I mean it,” you waved.


	4. Déjà-vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey!” You exclaimed indignantly. “What are you doing?” You started getting your things out of the carton boxes. “That stuff is my property!”
> 
> “Not anymore Miss (Y/L/N),” Ross said from behind you with a shit-eating grin spread across his face. “Since Tony Stark signed the accords, he agreed to give the United Nations all the information that is available about the Avengers and any project that might be related to them. This computer included,” he pointed out at the device that was on one of his agent’s hands. “I could take your phone too, but I’m not in the mood.”

When you saw the UN’s vehicles outside the Avengers headquarters you knew it could only mean trouble. You rushed to your office only to find men in FBI-like jackets putting your stuff in boxes. Thaddeus Ross himself was supervising that the job was getting done.

“Hey!” You exclaimed indignantly. “What are you doing?” You started getting your things out of the carton boxes. “That stuff is my property!”

“Not anymore Miss (Y/L/N),” Ross said from behind you with a shit-eating grin spread across his face. “Since Tony Stark signed the accords, he agreed to give the United Nations all the information that is available about the Avengers and any project that might be related to them. This computer included,” he pointed out at the device that was on one of his agent’s hands. “I could take your phone too, but I’m not in the mood.”

“That computer contains personal files and documents that are not related to the Avengers. I don’t think you wanna see my naked pictures or my sex tapes with Tony Stark,” you cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t trust the cloud, I’d rather have them there where I can easily delete them forever,” you smiled mischievously, making Ross blush furiously. “This has been my personal computer for a while now,” you returned to a normal voice, “and I’d really appreciate if you let me at least make a backup of the things I have there,” you demanded. Ross rolled his eyes and handed you the computer personally. “Thanks.”

“If you keep any Avengers-related file without my knowledge, I could send you to prison for it,” he reminded you, pointing a menacing finger at you. “You may not be a superhuman, but what you do is still within the limits of the accords. Be a law abiding citizen for once in your life.”

“Oh, but I was one,” you reminded him in an unfriendly voice. “Remember when SHIELD was being supervised by the US government? We received direct orders from… let me think,” you tapped your chin with your index finger, “right, it was you. And then what happened? You had your hands dirty with HYDRA, because it was you guys who were making the deals with them—”

“I had nothing to do with HYDRA,” he said in a menacing voice. 

“But I’ll try to remember,” you continued and smiled widely. “Though it sucks that I have such terrible memory,” you shook your head dramatically.

“Anything else you might wanna leave here before we take it?”

“All of this office,” you replied, making a circle in the air with your index. “I was away on a personal trip and I was not informed that you would come and make a mess out of my workplace.”

“Where were you? Leipzig? Siberia?” He teased.

“Not quite,” you replied with a calmed voice. “I was in London, attending agent Margaret Carter’s funeral,” you shot back, making Ross very uncomfortable. “She was best friends with my mother, and saw me grow up, besides, she was a mentor to me in SHIELD. Hope that makes clear just how special, cherished and important she was to me.”

“Yes, of course,” he stuttered. “We’ll be back in three days, Miss (Y/L/N).”

“I’m quite fast at doing this, don’t worry,” you pursed your lips into a smile. You made a signal with your hand for him to leave and after calling his agents, they left you alone in your office.

You sat on the tile flooring and groaned loudly. This was exactly what you had feared the most. You warned Maria about what happened, hoping it wasn’t too late for her or Fury.

“ _I just got back from London and had to kick Thunderbolt Ross out of my office. He was taking my stuff with him but I stopped him. If he hasn’t gone your way yet, try saving up all your crap. All of it._ ”

Truth was that you weren’t ready to say goodbye to your life. You didn’t really want to put it into boxes and let those men take it away from you, but the end was near and you could only sit and watch. There was a lot of information you had gathered throughout the years of working for SHIELD and now the Stark Relief Foundation and somehow, you had to put it all together into thousands of flash-drives. You searched the drawer in your desk for any storage device and let that running while you got busy with the notebooks and any on-paper information that could’ve had anything of help.

Tony walked with difficulty to your office and though you missed him like hell, you were also incredibly furious at him; being all beaten up was not softening your cold heart. You felt betrayed for not telling you first, or at least defending your stuff, and what was worse, you couldn’t do anything to revert it. You couldn’t go back in time to stop Lagos from happening, or Sokovia, or Washington D.C, or New York… You couldn’t prevent any of those from happening, and though you were a 100% sure that there was a storm coming in the romantic front, you weren’t sure you could stop that either.

Or even if you wanted to.

“I suppose it was you who dismissed Ross,” Stark leaned on the doorframe and given your threatening glare, he decided to change his topic. “You should’ve called me, I would’ve picked you up at the airport.”

“How’s Rhodey?” You avoided his question. “How’s he holding up? I didn’t go see him straight away, I’m planning on going after I finish this,” you pointed at your surroundings.

“Still in the hospital,” Tony looked down and shook his head. “How are you? How was London?”

“Well, the only person that had any ties to my family died a couple of days ago, the new family I got is apparently torn to bits over a piece of paper, and when I come home after a long trip from the other side of the ocean, I find my office being raided by a bunch of complete strangers,” you listed. “I suppose I’m officially not alright.”

“I’m sorry, babe,” Tony shook his head softly. “I tried to call you but you were already on the plane,” he walked closer to you and sat on the glass surface of your desk. “I suppose I could’ve left a message, but I didn’t think about it. I told them you were out of town and that you might’ve wanted to check these things before they took them away, but they didn’t listen.”

“I had to say I had nude multimedia of us so that Ross wouldn’t take it. He had the courtesy to give me three days to get this shit together,” you shook your head. “I can’t believe you did it.”

“It was Barnes who killed my parents, and Steve knew,” Tony confessed. “Even though Barnes didn’t blow shit up in Vienna. It was that fake doctor… I chopped his metal arm off, and they ran away, but I don’t know where exactly. Wanda and Vision ran away too.”

“I’m not talking about Barnes, or Steve, or Vision, or Wanda. Not even Siberia—I don’t give a rat’s ass about Siberia or any of them. I don’t even know what fake doctor you are even talking about. You told me you weren’t going to sign that until we figured it out,” you reminded him. “Why did you do it?”

“I told you, we need to be hold accountable—”

“Yeah, accountability is great, but what about me?”

“You?”

“Yeah, did you know this affects me too?” You narrowed your eyes. “My skillset is not exactly what one would label as normal. Not even CIA material—I’m way past that. Do you know that you just blew years of training, work and research just because someone told you you’re no different from the bad guys? I thought you were better than that. I thought you knew you weren’t the bad guy here.”

“(Y/N), you don’t get it,” Tony said in a stern voice. “Control is good. I’ve never had any of it in my whole entire life and look where I am. Look where it’s gotten me. Because of me, a city floated in the sky only to fall down and almost kill everyone,” his eyes were watery. “That’s only because I didn’t have any control.”

“I’ve had too much of it, and look where I am,” you extended both your arms. “I am classifying the stuff I’m gonna have to give away. Tony, control is good, but not like this. This is fear—you’re acting on fear. You didn’t even have the time to set up the Avengers’ rules, because shit happened all the time. Look,” you sighed heavily, “I don’t wanna fight, I just wanna get this stuff in place and then I’ll… I’ll go home and get my stuff.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, Tony,” you shook your head. “I just don’t think I can be with you right now. What you did… I feel a bit betrayed, you know? Biggie. It is biggie.”

“And where are you gonna go? From what I know Hill is out of town, and she doesn’t live at her old apartment… Ohh, I get it,” he nodded to himself. “So, you’re going after Steve now?” Tony asked in disdain. “Right, you know where he is, don’t you?”

“What?” You furrowed your brow. “That’s ridiculous.”

“If you know where he is, you have to say it,” he said in a demanding voice. “(Y/N), he’s a fugitive of the law, and he freed Clint, Wilson, the giant guy and Wanda, that’s why she ran away with Vision. If you don’t spill it, you might end up at the Raft too, and I don’t know if I can save you from that place.” 

“I’ve no idea where he is—where any of them are,” you replied from over your shoulder as you went through the pages of one of your journals. “And as I made quite clear before, I don’t give a shit about their whereabouts. I just wanna be left alone.”

“You sure you weren’t in Leipzig?”

“Now you’re just being delusional and stupid,” you rolled your eyes and continued your labelling. “I’m not going to meet with Steve, and I wouldn’t tell you if I actually went with him. I’m just gonna go and check myself in a hotel or something.”

“So you do know where he is?”

“I don’t,” you turned to look at him and shook your head. “I really don’t.”

“When you get to be with Steve, I hope he tells you the truth… unless you knew everything from the beginning. Did you?”

“I cannot believe you’re even asking this, Stark,” you shook your head in disbelief. “The last time I saw Steve was at Peggy’s funeral, and we talked over the accords and that was pretty much it, but it was a goddamned funeral, so we couldn’t talk much about it. Tony, I literally have no idea where Steve is, and what if I knew? Is that gonna make any difference? Are you gonna go after him? Can’t you just process the idea that I’m the one who’s leaving? Steve is not part of my plans.”

“Then why are you leaving?” He burst out. “If you’re not going with him, why would you even leave?”

“Because you just jeopardized my whole life!” You roared. “Tony, you know the work I do outside the Foundation. You know the work Hill does, and you just put both of us in danger. I cannot stay with a guy that didn’t think about that before putting his name on a piece of paper. You know what’s worse? I can’t go to the CIA and ask for a job there, because now my papers are not just mine anymore.”

“So you’re gonna go after Steve because he didn’t sign the accords, right? You’re gonna go to a place that you can do whatever you want, next to him.”

“We’ve been together for so long and you still don’t know shit about me…” you chuckled in disbelief. “This thing, for the very first time, is entirely about you,” you pointed a menacing finger at him. “The reason I’m leaving is because thanks to you I have to get myself a new identity. And Fury’s surely gonna help me with that, and I’m just so sick and tired to hear Steve’s name—he’s nothing to do with this.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, really,” you said firmly. “You brought this on yourself when you threw everything away over those goddamned accords, but now that you mention Steve, let me tell you one thing… When we broke up it was because he put everything aside to go find his buddy, everything including me. You’re doing the exact same thing. I told you to think this through, I told you to not sign these accords,” you wiggled the large document and let it fall again on the glass surface of your former desk; as it fell, it caused a loud thud. “And what did you do? The opposite, even when I told you several times that I wasn’t okay with it!” You rose your voice over the pounding in your ears. “You cannot expect me to stay here and watch you tear this team down… This was my family too, Tony,” you pointed at yourself. “You were a big part of it, and now…” you could feel the tears flooding your eyes. “You’re acting just like Steve,” you continued in a softer voice. “When we broke up,” your jaw trembled, “I thought I was getting rid of that behavior, but apparently, I didn’t—I just stepped into another stubborn idiot,” you took a deep breath. “We’re done, Tony. I don’t wanna see you ever again.”

“Go, if that’s what you want.”

“Okay,” you nodded, with your eyes filled with water. “You know what? Just take all of this stuff to Ross, I don’t give a shit anymore,” you shook your head and walked away from that life for good. 

As you walked away to your car you wished Tony would come from behind you to say he was sorry, but you found yourself driving away from the compound without him following. You promised yourself you wouldn’t come back and that you would forget Tony.


End file.
